Don’t read this.

And whatever you do, do NOT watch the video at the bottom of this page.

So you ask, “why are you even bothering to write this if you don’t want anyone to read or see it?” Well, I simply don’t know. But just stop reading, close your eyes and run away.

With that said, you really, really have to check out what’s going on with the Spore Creature Creator. The new Internet buzz word of the day is (I say in my best Mr. Rodgers voice) S-P-O-R-N. Yes, boys and girls, the Spore Creature Creator has been out for little over a week and the Internet is crawling with well-endowed, lonely creatures that don’t seem to have much to do on a Saturday night except dance around naked.

How long did it take for these horny beasts to, um, “pop-up?” If I were to guess, I’d have to say about thirteen minutes. And I am afraid of what will happen when the game actually, um, ”releases” in a couple of months. It will be a like a National Geographic nightmare, I’m sure. But these creatures are doomed. People only seem interested in creating males. Now I’m no Charles Darwin, but I seem to remember in biology class that it normally takes both males and females to procreate. So it’ll be interesting to watch what happens to the Spore Universe come September.

Seriously, don’t watch this: