The Atom Smasher

So apparently there is this huge atom samsher in Switzerland. It’s the most powerful atom smasher ever built! And said smasher has a switch that is going to be turned on in August, and is expected to make some bizarre discoveries, such as invisible matter or extra dimensions in space.

“Bizarre discoveries.”

“Extra dimensions” in space.

Am I the only one seeing a problem with this? And whose atoms are they smashing, anyway? I certainly don’t want mine smashed, I know that.

This is just the type experiemnt that goes terribly wrong in movies. Look what happened to The Incredible Hulk’s Bruce Banner. Look at Frankenstein. How about The Invisible Man? All of these are science fiction tales about something that seemed like a good idea at the time, but in retrospect didn’t turn out so great.

So when you’re sitting at your breakfast table in August and the lights momentarily dim, just continue chewing. You’re going to need your strength in the days to come as we have to fend off the creatures that have entered this dimension from the torn fabric of space and time we created with our shiny atom smasher.